You get up with the chickens because you are wide awake anyway--even on weekends and days off.
You can't remember the last time you slept through the night without having to get up to pee.
Unless you have no choice, you won't leave the house in the morning until you have finished all your business.
Moments before the start of the Stiletto Race you agreed to run in to raise money for charity, you suddenly realize you can't remember the last time you ran anywhere, much less in heels.
You are sore in places you didn't know you had for nearly a week after running for two minutes in a Stiletto Race for charity.
You have enough doctors to see a different one every day for a week or more.
You have a sweatshirt, pair of jeans and/or towels older than some of your coworkers.
You have accepted it's just not appropriate to wear clothes you find in the young men's department anywhere for any reason.
You no longer have much choice about what to do with your hair.
You've discovered elastic waistbands in dress pants.
You can't remember the last time you wore pants that didn't have elastic in the waistband.
You know just the right viewing angle in the mirror to continue pretending your body hasn't changed much since you were 20.
You no longer read certain comic strips because the print is just too small to see.
You can't read text this size without your glasses no matter how far you hold it from your face.
You go to the grocery store wearing an outfit you wouldn't have been caught dead in 20 years ago.
You're totally pissed because they quit making your favorite (fill in the blank).
You have to get someone younger to show you how to work practically everything.
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