Screening Facebook Status Updates and Stuff

My addiction to Facebook continues. The inner me requires that I read each and every status post of every one of my 250+ friends. It's beyond exhausting.

Some of you thanked me for tips about hiding applications like Farmville, Yoville and Mafia Wars in an earlier posts. Eliminating all the extraneous crap still leaves an overwhelming volume of posts to read. More drastic measures were needed.

For the most part, I'm interested. I enjoy seeing pictures of my friends' parents, kids, grandkids and pets even if we're unlikely to ever meet. I enjoy reading status updates and look forward to the next post for most of my Facebook friends.

Most, but not all. Repeatedly post comments, links, and/or pictures that offend or annoy me and sooner or later I'm going to click "hide". Here are a few of the reasons I hide friends on Facebook:

* Your profile picture is a bird. I'm not talking the feathery kind, either. While the obscene gesture may be fine for your friends, it's not appropriate for mine. Click.

* You posted a crude link, comment or photo. I'm all about some naughty. But nasty is inappropriate. Click.

* You post the results of quizzes about your sex life or sex organs. I don't care and suspect your friends don't either. I'd also guess you haven't had sex in ages. Still waters run deep. Click.

* You try to advance your absurd political agenda. I'm all for freedom of speech. I've even had some great debates with FB friends with views different from my own. But start talking about missing birth certificates or the intellectual attributes of Sarah Palin and I'm done. Click.

* You think I rely on you for information about something other than you, your family and your local sports teams. I don't. Click.

* You won't shut up about your faith. Yeah I know...you're shouting from the rooftops. I'm more impressed with a quiet faith. All that noise gets on my nerves. Click.

No doubt, some of my friends have hidden my posts, too. I'd guess it's because there are too many of them and/or they're tired of hearing about our silly little dogs. Oh well. You can't please everyone. Trying is what keeps me...

The Crotchety Old Man