Mondays

Unless it's a holiday, Monday is not my favorite day of the week. Settling back into the work routine after a weekend off has always been a little rough. Technology makes the adjustment even more challenging.

Back when I took all those Fridays off, come Monday my car wouldn't start without a jump. I thought the problem was fixed after we replaced a corroded cable. Nope. Then I got a new battery. That wasn't the problem either.

My faithful mechanics still don't know what the problem is. We rule out a few more things with each oil change. However, they have determined that leaving the car in the garage for days contributes to the problem. As long as I drive it for 15 or 20 minutes a day it's fine...for now.

When I get to the office, before turning on the lights I power up my desktop computer. Then I turn on the lights, water the plants and wait for the computer to come up. Ready to work!

Acrobat Reader and Windows have more updates. After installing them, the computer restarts. Now I'm ready to work.

Unfortunately, my desktop is still not ready. It's fully occupied by the security software the computer geeks at work require us to have. If they knew what they were doing, they wouldn't be working for us.

I go through my snail mail for the first hour of the day as my desktop runs various and sundry scans in search of extraterrestrials, illegal aliens, and international terrorists. I've learned it's best to wait until the scans finish. Trying to work while my computer is busy just leads to frustration, anger and foul language. So I wait.

Finally, some 30 to 45 minutes later, the desktop stands ready for my command. I double-click on the icon to access the Internet. Java and the browser both have updates. Dammit! I install the updates.

Restart now or later? I always pick now. Otherwise, the reminder of the need to restart pops up when I'm trying to concentrate on something else. After it comes back up, there's just enough time to respond to a few e-mails before lunch.

Throw in Monday afternoon faculty meetings instead of my Sunday afternoon nap, and it's no wonder I'm always...

The Crotchety Old Man