Ooops... Busted! *blush*

You may have noticed that the ads are gone from my blog. Turns out, AdSense gets a little suspicious when all the clicks on ads come from something less than ten computers. So today they have disabled my account for "click violations". Ooops.

I admit that I encouraged selected (liberal or liberal-tolerant) coworkers and friends to visit my blog, not to read the postings but to click on the ads. OK--I sorta wanted them to read the posts, too, but I really wanted them to click on all the ads. We saw it as a kind of payback for enduring ads in unwanted places. I had visions of retiring from my day job and living on my ad revenue.

The presence of the ads completely changed my attitude about blogging. Before the ads, I would sign on and write about whatever was on my mind. After ads, I was all about my Google Analytic statistics and various strategies for increasing visitors to my blog. I searched high and low for other blogs that I could post a comment on in hopes of luring visitors to my blog. Never mind that this mostly just raised my bounce rate.

Now I'm back to blogging for the pure enjoyment of it. The profit motive is gone. I'll probably get a lot more stuff done that doesn't involve a computer, too. And now that my dreams of an early retirement have been crushed, it's back to work.

For the Love of Hate

When it comes to hate in this country, seems like things have gotten worse since I started blogging and following blogs. Or maybe I'm just getting a lot more information than before. Since stuff I read in blogs turns up in the national news several days after I see it on blogs, or not at all, I'm inclined to believe that I'm getting more information.

Prior to starting this blog, I watched NBC for national news and ABC for Atlanta news (which passes for local here in Athens) on television every day. I read the Athens Banner-Herald every day for real local news (well, for UGA sports and the blotter so I know who got busted). And I faithfully read my weekly US News and World Report (now a biweekly), just as I have for the last 25 years or so--even the articles about countries I've never heard of before.

One thing for sure, I get a LOT more news from gay sources now than before. That means I read all about the latest slights and perceived slights by mostly religious conservatives and the groups that use them to accomplish other objectives (i.e., to elect Republican politicians). Most of what I read appears to be fairly well documented, but I wouldn't call it balanced by any stretch of the imagination. In fact, reading some of these gay blogs is a lot like watching Fox News--you're going to get a particular point of view, period.

Anyway, looks to me like there is a tremendous amount of hate flowing around out there today. I think nearly all comes from the lunatic fringe. Whether we're talking about Nazi Baptists, radio pundits of both persuasions, the Gaystapo, PETA, skinheads, or Paul Broun, these folks really don't represent the views of most Americans. They get attention because their views are so extreme. After all, extreme sells--just ask the folks at Fox News.

Middle America (and I'm not talking geography) is boring. These folks go to work (or did, before they got laid off), do the best they can to raise their kids, and live paycheck to paycheck. If they hear about the drama around hate and haters, they shake their heads and go on their way. They are not terribly informed on issues that don't directly impact their day to day life. Mostly they don't care to be because they've got enough on their plates as it is.

All this to say that I believe much of the hate-filled rhetoric is way out of proportion. They aren't all out to get us, however you choose to define us. Yeah, hate crimes are up, and Barack Obama has received more death threats than any other president-elect in history. That's probably because 1) the lunatic fringe is larger because there are so many more people and 2) some people that lose their jobs through no fault of their own feel the need to blame someone. Would be interesting to examine whether there are any correlations between the increase in blogging and the increase in hate crimes.

I do what I can through my postings on this blog and the comments I post on other blogs to throw a little water on the flames. I see others that try to do the same. But mostly what I see are hotheads that fan the flames, or worse, fling gasoline on the flames. I don't think that's good for the cause--any cause, including those I'm for and against.

But what do I know? I'm just...

The Crotchety Old Man

One or Two Religious Conservatives at a Time

This weekend I happened to catch one of the more interesting episodes of Split Ends. In case you haven't seen it, Split Ends is a reality show where two hairdressers swap salons for a few days. Most of the time they swap someone from an upscale, hoity-toity salon with someone from a salon somewhere in Podunk. Yeah it's not the best show on TV, but Georgia didn't play this weekend so I needed some fillers.

This particular episode featured a hairdresser from Worcester, MA swapping with someone from Crescent Springs in rural Northern Kentucky. What made this show interesting was the fact that the MA hairdresser did drag, and the KY shop featured prayer several times a day. Talk about a culture clash....

Things started off fine. But Christian returned to the religious shop after lunch in drag, as Crystal Mess. Sparks flew. Heather, the ultrareligious owner freaked out. Get this--she said a salon was no place for a drag queen, and walked out. Now I don't know about you, but if a drag queen doesn't belong in a beauty parlor, I don't know who does.

The next day, all the other hairdressers were told they were not allowed to talk to Christian, who showed up to work sans drag. As an aside, he's adorable in and out of drag. He asked the owners (Heather and her husband, Fred) if he could talk with them. Heather was a bitch. Fred was uptight, but nicer. If you ask me, Heather was probably worried that Fred might play for the other team which looked like a distinct possibility.

On the final day, when the swappers get to run the shop with their rules, Crystal Mess shows up. Heather has a fit, but doesn't walk off. For his "final challenge", Crystal has to do makeovers for two of the dykiest looking softball players you're ever going to see. He agrees, with the condition that he also gets to do a makeover for Fred. The end result with the two girls is amazing--reason enough to watch this admittedly lame show.

Of course, Crystal puts Fred in drag for his makeover, and Heather cries. Then she prays and cries some more. Wah. Crystal takes her wig off, and apologizes to Heather saying he never intended to hurt anyone's feelings, and that it was all in fun. The icing on the cake was when Crystal asked Heather to pray, and all the hairdressers got together in a little prayer circle. What a gay!

The end of the show is Heather coming around to say that Crystal wasn't so bad after all. I don't think she's ready to vote for gay marriage, but she definitely had a dramatic change in perspective. That's the way we'll win our civil rights--one or two religious conservatives at a time.

Aunt Toodles

Everyone should have an Aunt Toodles. My mother (now 70) was the baby of 8. Toodles was the next youngest and four years older. She was fiercely protective of my mother, and from the time I was born, loved me more than just about anything else in the world. At least she always made me feel that way. I can certainly say that I love her more than anyone I have ever known.

Toodles was a large woman. Obese, really, but also pretty and outgoing. She was larger than life in just about every way. She always wore gigantic jewelry and carried huge purses because she felt like it made her look smaller than she was. Especially when I was kid, she usually wore flattering skirts and heels. She also wore Tabu perfume. If you've never caught a whiff of Tabu, it's not the least bit subtle. It hits your nose like a prize fighter.

My earliest memories are scented with Tabu. It's loud and obnoxious I know, but for me it's the sweet smell of love. Toodles was around a lot when I was small. She lived with us for a short time, and spent the night at our house often--into my teen years. She was single, 24 when I was born, and the kind of woman that tended to make a party wherever she was. I swear she lived with us for years, but Mom says it was only for a few months sometime before my sister was born.

I had my own room with twin beds until age four when my sister was born. Toodles always slept in the other bed when she spent the night. She told me about creeping in drunk trying not to make any noise, and of course, waking toddler me up. She'd fall in to bed and wake up with me beside her, and a wet washcloth neatly folded across her forehead. Eventually she found out I was dipping the washcloth in the toilet to get it wet.

For years before she died, we talked on the phone for an hour or so, two or three times a week. Man I miss those conversations! A sample.... Toodles knew that I enjoyed gay chat rooms. I told her it was a good way to meet people. She didn't like the idea of a chat room--couldn't see why anyone would ever want to do that. Now Toodles was about the most social animal I have ever encountered. So I just couldn't imagine why she was so cool toward chat rooms.

So one day I asked her what she thought a chat room was. Toodles explained that you went to chat rooms to sit around naked with other people to watch porn on the Internet. Even with that image of a chat room, she never in any way suggested or even hinted that going to a chat room was something I shouldn't do.

She thought my first ex, Tom, was someone I took on as a project. She felt sorry for him, but was never wild about us being together. I doubt he ever even suspected in the 12 years we were together that she was other than thrilled. She hated my second ex--though Kevin never knew it either. Turns out, she saw right away what it took me five years to figure out about Kevin. With #3--my current main squeeze, she was opposed at first because she was sure this guy half my age was just using me. Didn't take her long to come around. Before she died she told me how happy she was that I had finally found someone I deserved. Now that she's gone, I'm so glad that he got to meet her.

Everyone should have an Aunt Toodles. She loved me absolutely and unconditionally. I don't know what I would have done without her during the early years of coming out. In fact, I really can't conceive of how different I would be without this enormous love in my life. I'll have to blog about her again. There are a million wild Toodles tales to tell. She always wanted me to write a book. She would be thrilled to know I blog--if I could ever get her to understand what that means!

Oxymorons and Religious Zealots

I was reading about Elisabeth Hasselbeck of The View on Joe.My.God--one of my favorite blogs. The posting refers to her as a not-very-well-informed conservative. I don't know about you, but based on my experience, I'd say that "well-informed conservative" is an oxymoron.

Back when I was a kid, there were intelligent and well-informed conservatives. The focus then was on fiscal and monetary policy--not society and culture. They're spinning in their graves I'm sure about the crap being put forth as conservative today. But I digress....

Then I read on another of my favorite blogs (Margaret and Helen) that the Republicans have become the party of money, sex, and guns since that's all they seem to care about. I'm inclined to agree. And something about that post made me think of my first ex, Tom.

At the time (and I haven't seen or heard from Tom in at least 15 years so much has probably changed), his dad was the minister of one of those tiny little Baptist churches you find scattered across the south. The congregation, by and large, were other members of his family. Tom had 2 sisters, a brother who shot himself in his early 20s, and more stepbrothers and stepsisters than you could count.

The old man had a house full of guns and a swimming pool in his back yard. I was stunned when I found out that no matter their age, boys and girls were not allowed to be in the back yard in swim suits at the same time. Wasn't proper. Can you say pedophile?

Sex was not talked about, period. Abstinence was the family policy. Every girl in that household got knocked up before her 18th birthday. Sounds like the Palins.

At the time I thought it mighty strange that so much emphasis was placed on sex with so little real information. It occurred to me that the old man must be thinking about sex all the time. Much later I found out that every kid in that household was sexually abused by him. Praise Jesus.

Beware of these religious conservatives that get all bent out of shape about sex. I'd be willing to bet that like Jimmy Carter, they've "committed adultery in [their] heart[s] many times." I'd also venture to say that in many cases, the adultery wasn't confined to their hearts. Unfortunately, there are probably quite a few Tom's dads out there who acted out with children.

That probably explains all the hellfire and brimstone. If I had ever engaged in that kind of behavior, I'd be preoccupied with hell, too. I'd also want lots of guns around--just in case some whacko sex-crazed freak decided to molest me. I doubt Tom's dad believes in karma, but I do, and I hope he got exactly what he deserves.

The Biggest Loser

I've been a fan of The Biggest Loser ever since it first came on. Season after season I fall in love with each and every contestant. At the end of the show each week I'm on pins and needles waiting to find out which of my new friends is going home.

I especially like trainer Jillian Michaels. She's just the right amount of tough balanced with just a dash of sensitive. In person she'd probably scare the hell out of me and make me cry. I'm impressed with the way she seems to get inside the heads of the fatties on her team. Her methods get results, too. I'm thinking about getting her work-out video game for the Wii, just to see how it would be to have her yelling at me.

This year there is a contestant that I absolutely cannot stand: Vicky. She is the most mean-spirited bitch they've ever had as a contestant. She has a nasty attitude, and is more into the game aspect of the show than anyone has ever been. I cheered when her husband went home last week. My only problem with him was that he's Vicky's husband. Nonetheless, it was great to see Vicky's alliance with Heba and her husband busted up.

Last night, after three commercials during the weigh in, we learn that Vicky was in the bottom two, and hence, up for elimination with sweet Coleen--the baby of the losers this season. She was in the bottom two because Michelle, the winner of the challenge, earned the right to give someone an extra pound. Vicky got it, and it made the difference.

For the first time ever, instead of dreading the vote to see who was going home, I relished it. The cards were stacked in such a way that Vicky's demise seemed certain. Amy, who Vicky had treated like dirt all week for breaking the alliance and voting her husband off the week before, was the deciding vote. After a few more commercials, Amy's vote is revealed.

Rather than voting off the Biggest Bitch, she sends sweet little Coleen (a former teammmate) home, pretty much guaranteeing that the black team will vote her off first chance they get. Having ticked off the blue team the week before, they'll vote her off first chance they get. She needs to stay above the yellow line or she's gone.

I will say it's more than a little annoying that the producers stretch what could easily be a one-hour show out to two hours. To get around TiVo, they have commercials for various products integrated in to the show, along with a regular commercial break any time something interesting is about to happen. Like that's not enough, they repeat the minute or two that took place before the commercial break immediately after the commercial break. Those kinds of tactics are standard with reality shows now, and will likely lead to their eventual demise. Or at least, I hope so.

Yours,

The Crotchety Old Man

Corporate Bail-Outs

I'm starting to think that corporate bail outs are the new welfare. We've always heard the right complaining that the folks on welfare shouldn't be compensated for not working, etc. I don't agree with that necessarily--poverty is an extremely complicated issue.

By comparison, business is a pretty straightforward. You develop a product, market it to consumers, and if it's something consumers want or need, they'll buy it. If they don't buy it, then you're probably going to go out of business. Businesses fail every day. Life is hard.

So now we're talking about bailing out the big three American automakers. Seems nobody is buying the products they're producing. Wah! For at least the last 20 years, foreign automakers--many now with plants in the U.S.--have been gaining market share because they are selling products people want to buy. It's not just fuel efficiency. Check the dependability ratings provided by Consumer Reports. Many foreign-made vehicles simply do not have the problems of their American-made counterparts.

Fuel efficiency has driven a lot of the switch to foreign made cars. It's not like rising gas prices came out of the blue. We've known for quite a while now that sooner or later, oil production is going to dry up. With China, India and other developing countries exponentially increasing their desire for gasoline, the shortage is probably going to come sooner rather than later. Even if supplies last, increased demand is going to mean higher prices. Have American automakers responded? Nope. And now they want a bail out. Wah!

Helen and Margaret (a very popular blog and one that I follow) today suggested that perhaps the oil companies should be the ones to bail out the auto industry. Great idea! They've been in bed together for decades anyway. While we're at it, why don't we let the sleazy hedge fund managers that made billions of dollars just last year bail out Wall Street? A thorough study of where and how dollars flow would likely turn up lots of other good sources for bail out funds other than tax payers.

The emerging pattern is that corporate entities that failed to exercise due diligence and continued to operate under lousy business plans are getting bailed out with tax payer dollars. What kind of incentive is that? To make matters worse, the same logic is being used to save homeowners that bought more house than they could afford and over-leveraged with home equity loans putting them underwater or upside down on their loans. Wah!

The mantra for welfare reform was making work pay. The new mantra for corporate welfare reform should be about rewarding businesses that succeed. If you don't have a good business plan and you can't move your product, you shouldn't be rewarded with tax payer dollars. That this appears to be happening all over the place keeps me...

The Crotchety Old Man