Bounced!

Every morning I use Google Analytics to check my blog statistics. The daily report shows how many people visited the blog the day before, the posts they viewed, the amount of time they spent on each page and lots of other information. It's interesting more than useful.

One of the more interesting statistics is the bounce rate. The bounce rate is the percentage of people who visit the blog only to exit within seconds. Apparently they weren't interested in what they found. The lower the bounce rate, the better.

Yesterday's post about current television shows had a bounce rate of 100 percent. In other words, it took visitors to the blog about a second to decide they weren't interested. That's a first for me in more than two years of blogging. I get it--no more crappy blog posts about what I'm watching on television.

Having lost all but one of my right-wing friends on Facebook, I'm also avoiding political posts. Things I say get misconstrued, tempers flare and next thing you know I've lost another FB friend. Pissing off readers is counter-productive. In the end, what I think is unlikely to change what you think anyway.

Same with religion. I believe in God, but the particulars tend to rub those with different views the wrong way. They take offense, see my views as an attack on what they believe and get all defensive. So I keep my views to myself.

Work-related matters and office happenings are out-of-bounds, too. My momma didn't raise no fool. I talk about that stuff at work, just like everyone else.

I'm out of the always popular nostalgic posts. Everything I can think of is in Glass Houses. In the context of the larger story, they're also a lot more interesting than a blog post would be.

About all I've blogged about for months is the book. I figured you were tired of hearing about the damn book and were ready for something else. Clearly it's not what I'm watching on television.

I'll try to do better. I promise. I know it's what you've come to expect from...

The Crotchety Old Man

Evolution of a Blog

Thank you for reading my blog. I know your time is valuable and appreciate your willingness to spend a few minutes reading even one post. That you come back for more is a great complement. Thank you.

I started blogging accidentally and without any particular goals or objectives after stumbling upon blogspot.com. A few minutes later I had my own blog. An hour later I published my first post and was officially a blogger. It was that easy.

I've come to appreciate the challenge of telling a story in a few paragraphs. My partner will tell you I spend two and three hours or more on a post. To me each one is a work of art and must be perfect before I'll share it with you.

If I didn't have a purpose when I started, sixteen months and more than 150 posts later, I do. Now I know you are the reason I blog. My objective? To keep you coming back for more.

There's ample evidence more than a few of you don't necessarily share my political views--you know who you are. And yet, you come back. To you I owe a particular debt of gratitude. I know on occasion you needed to grit your teeth to make it through a post.

It's not my political views and fascinating opinions that keep you coming back. You're not here to catch up on current events or to gather information for a term paper or report for work, either. Nope. You come back because something I wrote made you smile or maybe laugh out loud.

A very special thank you to the followers of this blog (Linda, Deb, Brew, Starsky, Gladys, Mikael, Mark & Marcia) for being willing to admit they read the blog.  Much appreciation to Cathy B, Dennis and Reporter Cub for listing me as a favorite on their blogs and for sending people my way.

Thanks for giving me a reason to keep writing. You make it fun for me. I just wanted to let you know how very much I appreciate you.

The Crotchety Old Man

Born to Write

I started writing almost before I could talk. Mom says I would fill page after page with uniform little circles in neat rows. I vaguely recall drawing the circles and suspect I was writing. Having kept a journal for most of my life I know the kinds of things I write about. Would love to know now what I had to say then.

Mrs. Scully, my ninth grade English teacher, was the first person I remember commenting about my writing. She gave me an A on a term paper that was more than a few pages short of the required minimum because it was well-written and complete. This high praise is one of the few things I remember about junior high.

In high school English classes we often picked our assignment from several options. Given the choice I always went with the creative option. I wrote a Canterbury Tale in faux Middle-English dialect about bomb scares at our school.  Mrs. Highland read it to our class and to students in her Literary Tempers class for years afterward.  It was the first time my writing entertained others that I can recall.

The professor of a college creative writing course selected one of my stories as the best of the semester. She didn't say who wrote it, just started reading it to the class.  It was a tall tale loosely based on a real disagreement between the lead dancers in the dream ballet sequence of a high school presentation of the musical Oklahoma!  I was horrified!  I remember turning deep red and sinking down into my seat.  But everyone laughed and in the end, applauded.  Re-enforcement.

I enjoy the physical act of writing. I'm fastidious about penmanship, word choice, spelling, punctuation, and grammar. My aunt, a retired high school English teacher, says my letters to her are beautifully written and technically perfect.  Growing up I begged her to read my letters with red pen in hand and send them back to me.  To her credit she never did!

Technical writing is part of my job.  Practice makes perfect.  Do the same thing for a couple of decades and you can become quite good at it.  Creativity creeps in now and then, but for the most part this stuff is dry and straightforward.  Even so, my colleagues tell me I write very well.

About thirteen months ago I started this blog.  Since then I've published 139 posts on numerous and sundry topics.  Some are good, some are bad, and some are just ugly. I learned a lot about blogging and a lot about my strengths and weaknesses as a writer. 

Initially I was very careful to protect my identity.  Without a clear identity for The Crotchety Old Man, the blog never attracted much of a following.  I did get a few hits from posting to other blogs and random hits from google searches.  Few if any check back.  You regular readers knew me before there was ever a blog.

The Adventures of Tico and Toodles incorporates everything I've learned. It's focused, has a point of view, and comes from my own observations and experiences.  The only marketing has been occasional postings on Facebook and word of mouth.  People love it and they come back for more.  I'm having a blast with it, too.

There will be some changes to this blog.  I'm going to try to stick to what I know which should really cut down on political rants.  One thing for sure, as long as things piss me off I will remain...

The Crotchety Old Man 

Multitasking Revealed

Turns out that multitasking is not the boon to efficiency its practitioners would have us believe. Nope. It's not the key to getting more done. In fact, multitasking slows you down and increases the likelihood that you will make a mistake.

That means that multitasking is itself a mistake. If you elect to multitask, you are making a mistake right out of the gate. Who knew? Shouldn't someone be sending out memos declaring multitasking to be a violation of company policy? Should I go to training on how to reduce or prevent multitasking? I don't even know what to call a person who is guilty of multitasking.

I guess whether or not multitasking is bad depends to some extent on how you define it. According to one definition, multitasking is the concurrent operation by one Central Processing Unit of two or more processes. I like this definition because I like to think of myself as a CPU. That way, I can blame any problems on an overfull or faulty hard drive.

There is multitasking all around me. Every morning I see drivers simultaneously applying make-up, talking on the cell phone and eating breakfast. The mistake you're most like to see here? No turn signals. Apparently, getting the eyeliner on straight is more important than signaling your intentions in rush hour traffic.

Campus is awash with multitasking. In classroom after classroom, students follow along with the lecture while texting friends, maintaining Facebook pages, playing Tetris on cell phones, reading the campus newspaper, and/or sleeping. Two of every three students you pass on campus will be on the cell phone, reading something on a phone or blackberry, or texting a response to something they just read. They walk slower than everybody else and are always apologizing for running in to things. I suppose they are less of a menace on foot than behind the wheel of a car.

Multitasking rules at the workplace, too. Most people you see on Facebook at any give time (excluding students), are at work. The blogosphere comes to a screeching halt Friday afternoon, with few if any new posts appearing until bloggers return to their day jobs on Monday. Most of the participants in any meeting I attend these days are busy doing something else. Multitasking rules!

Multitasking is what we do so we won't feel like we're wasting time on whatever it is we're supposed to be doing. Talking on the phone, enjoying a bacon-egg-and-cheese biscuit, and putting the finishing touches on today's face beat listening to traffic reports on the radio. The time passes more quickly, too.

In the end that's what it's really about. God forbid we should be bored for even one little minute. Nope. We live in the era of constant entertainment. But I guess that would depend entirely on how you define entertainment.

Most Visited Postings

One of the first things I do every morning is check Google Analytics to find out how many folks visited this blog the day before. I used to spend a lot of time looking at all the subcategories. There's a ton of information, and I even know what some of it means. But these days I tend to focus on the number of visitors and the most popular postings.

My October 1 rant about my dissatisfaction with the "new and improved" gay.com is by far my most popular posting (New & Improved Gay.Com Sucks!). A follow-up posting on October 26 (New Gay.Com Still Sucks) is a distant second, with my rant about Gay Republicans wrapping up the top three. With the exception of four more (two on gay topics), the rest of my postings have about the same number of viewings. Interesting.

Most of the folks (about 60%) who read this blog come directly from another blog. Less than twenty percent come directly to the blog. The rest show up because this blog turned up when they searched for something. In about a fourth of those, "crotchety old man" was the search term. Most of the rest are various permutations of gay.com chat sucks. Apparently my view on that particular topic is shared by quite a few people.

"Most Visited" doesn't really tell me much. It might if I had as many viewers as Joe My God or Helen & Margaret. I don't think I'm gay enough or political enough for that to happen. My tendency to drift from topic to topic doesn't help me to build a regular following, either.

One of these days I'll look back over all that I've posted so I can post the list of my ten favorites. Some of my early rants were pretty good hehe. Some of my best postings aren't rants as much as reminiscences. Until I get my top ten list together, I'd love to hear from you about any of my postings that you really like (or dislike). You can either comment on this post or comment on the post you like (or hate). And thanks!

Ooops... Busted! *blush*

You may have noticed that the ads are gone from my blog. Turns out, AdSense gets a little suspicious when all the clicks on ads come from something less than ten computers. So today they have disabled my account for "click violations". Ooops.

I admit that I encouraged selected (liberal or liberal-tolerant) coworkers and friends to visit my blog, not to read the postings but to click on the ads. OK--I sorta wanted them to read the posts, too, but I really wanted them to click on all the ads. We saw it as a kind of payback for enduring ads in unwanted places. I had visions of retiring from my day job and living on my ad revenue.

The presence of the ads completely changed my attitude about blogging. Before the ads, I would sign on and write about whatever was on my mind. After ads, I was all about my Google Analytic statistics and various strategies for increasing visitors to my blog. I searched high and low for other blogs that I could post a comment on in hopes of luring visitors to my blog. Never mind that this mostly just raised my bounce rate.

Now I'm back to blogging for the pure enjoyment of it. The profit motive is gone. I'll probably get a lot more stuff done that doesn't involve a computer, too. And now that my dreams of an early retirement have been crushed, it's back to work.

For the Love of Hate

When it comes to hate in this country, seems like things have gotten worse since I started blogging and following blogs. Or maybe I'm just getting a lot more information than before. Since stuff I read in blogs turns up in the national news several days after I see it on blogs, or not at all, I'm inclined to believe that I'm getting more information.

Prior to starting this blog, I watched NBC for national news and ABC for Atlanta news (which passes for local here in Athens) on television every day. I read the Athens Banner-Herald every day for real local news (well, for UGA sports and the blotter so I know who got busted). And I faithfully read my weekly US News and World Report (now a biweekly), just as I have for the last 25 years or so--even the articles about countries I've never heard of before.

One thing for sure, I get a LOT more news from gay sources now than before. That means I read all about the latest slights and perceived slights by mostly religious conservatives and the groups that use them to accomplish other objectives (i.e., to elect Republican politicians). Most of what I read appears to be fairly well documented, but I wouldn't call it balanced by any stretch of the imagination. In fact, reading some of these gay blogs is a lot like watching Fox News--you're going to get a particular point of view, period.

Anyway, looks to me like there is a tremendous amount of hate flowing around out there today. I think nearly all comes from the lunatic fringe. Whether we're talking about Nazi Baptists, radio pundits of both persuasions, the Gaystapo, PETA, skinheads, or Paul Broun, these folks really don't represent the views of most Americans. They get attention because their views are so extreme. After all, extreme sells--just ask the folks at Fox News.

Middle America (and I'm not talking geography) is boring. These folks go to work (or did, before they got laid off), do the best they can to raise their kids, and live paycheck to paycheck. If they hear about the drama around hate and haters, they shake their heads and go on their way. They are not terribly informed on issues that don't directly impact their day to day life. Mostly they don't care to be because they've got enough on their plates as it is.

All this to say that I believe much of the hate-filled rhetoric is way out of proportion. They aren't all out to get us, however you choose to define us. Yeah, hate crimes are up, and Barack Obama has received more death threats than any other president-elect in history. That's probably because 1) the lunatic fringe is larger because there are so many more people and 2) some people that lose their jobs through no fault of their own feel the need to blame someone. Would be interesting to examine whether there are any correlations between the increase in blogging and the increase in hate crimes.

I do what I can through my postings on this blog and the comments I post on other blogs to throw a little water on the flames. I see others that try to do the same. But mostly what I see are hotheads that fan the flames, or worse, fling gasoline on the flames. I don't think that's good for the cause--any cause, including those I'm for and against.

But what do I know? I'm just...

The Crotchety Old Man

My Blogging Experience...2 Months In

OK. I've now been blogging for about two months. During that time I have visited a lot of other blogs. Between what I've seen on other blogs, what I have read about blogging, and what I have figured out on my own, I have learned quite a bit about what it takes to be a successful blogger. Enough to know that this blog will probably never be all that successful.

The main problem is the lack of graphics. This is a text-only blog. For my own reasons, it's probably going to stay that way. I can tell, however, that the lack of graphics is a problem because of what I see on google analytics. The bounce rate for visitors from some sources is 100 percent. That tells me they come, see that there are no graphics, and leave. Fair enough.

Another problem is that I have drifted from my original purpose. The Crotchety Old Man is supposed to be about things that piss me off. Though current events have dictated that I write a lot about politics, those rants are rarely as clever or entertaining as what I write about less serious topics. With the election now behind us, I hope to get back to more humorous rantings.

I'm pleased to announce that I have received (or soon will receive) my first payment from AdSense. I was wrong--they don't hold it until you earn $100. They send you a check any time you reach $100 or at the end of each month, whichever comes first. I'm looking forward to my first payment--a bit less than $7--and know it will come in handy as Christmas approaches. Thanks to any of my readers who click on the ads. It's a bit like wealth redistribution, and if I ever become wealthy, I promise to give back, abundantly.

Forever yours,

The Crotchedy Old Man

Blogging Success!

I'm so excited! I checked my AdSense account today. Low and behold, I've earned $2.73!!! Now I just need $97.27 more and I'll get my first check. At the rate I'm going, I expect I'll get that first check around this time next year.

Have to say that the technology AdSense uses to scan the contents of my blog to select appropriate ads needs some work. I wrote about the crappy parents up the street from me, and now see a couple of ads to help you become a better parent. No doubt the last sentence will keep those ads active for a while.

I was happy to see an ad for pet waste stations and bags and another for flushable pet waste bags. That's not where I want to go, but at least it's in the ball park of what I've written about.

There are several ads about theme parties. I'm not sure what I've written about to get them. The good news is that Ann Coulter's ad and others for the Republican National Committee no longer appear.

Take a few minutes to click on some of these ads. What have you got to lose? It might mean I get a check before this time next year, but it's not going to make me rich by any means.

Thanks!

The Somewhat Less Crotchety Old Man

My Blogging Experiment...Continued

The first thing I do every morning is sign in to Google Analytics to see how many folks read my blog the day before. I'm not sure what most of the stuff in these reports means, but I'm pleased to see that I have around a dozen visits every day. Some days I have more--as many as 30--and other days I have less. But most the time I'm hitting right around 12 or 13.

One thing is clear--I need to find a better way to promote my blog. Posting the URL in my bioline and hanging out in chat rooms on gay.com has got me this far. Because of this strategy, however, my most popular posting is "New and Improved Gay.Com Sucks." My postings on other topics aren't nearly as popular. But that's ok, I'm doing this mostly for me anyway so I'll keep blogging gayly forward.

Gradually I've added some of the "gadgets" available from blogspot. I like the "labels" directory. Seems to me it makes it easier for my dozen readers to find the postings they most want to read.

I'm less satisfied with My Blog List. It's not about the blogs I'm following. The problem is that I've had a hard time finding blogs I want to follow. A lot of the gay blogs are too focused on porn. Most of the political gay blogs post more or less the same stuff. If you have some suggestions, I'd love to hear about them.

The other day I added AdSense. I was startled to see ads for Ann Coulter and the Republican National Committee appear. I don't think I'll be getting much revenue from them. In fact, given my huge following--the bored dozen--I'm not likely to get much revenue anyway. But the odds would improve if the ads were more relevant to my political views. It's not like I've been tight-lipped about them or anything.

If you're not familiar with AdSense, my revenue will keep accumulating until I make my first $100. Then they'll send me a check. I hope I live long enough. Anyone interested in starting a pool to guess the date I'll get my first check?

Thanks for reading, and tell your friends! I need all the help I can get. In the end, however, success might keep me from being...

The Crotchety Old Man

My Blogging Experiment

I started blogging on September 17 of this year. It wasn't something I thought about doing prior to that moment. I stumbled across the Blogspot homepage, saw how easy it was to create a blog, and got started. Next thing you know, I'm a blogger. In truth, prior to my first blog entry I had never even read a blog. So to say I didn' t have a clue what I was doing would be an understatement.

Have to admit that it came pretty naturally for me. I have always been a writer. Let me rephrase that...I have always enjoyed writing. The top of my closet is filled with the many volumes of a journal I've kept that dates back to the 1970s. I also do a lot of writing for my job, and have been told more times than I can count that I have a gift for it. Perhaps one day I'll type all my old journal entries into a blog (though I suspect a lot of editing would take place!).

Days after I started blogging, I installed the code from Google Analytics so I could see how many people were stopping in. Took me a while to get that part right. FYI--it didn't work until I switched the "new" code for the old code. Now it works like a charm, and I'm hooked.

After the tracking code started working, one day I popped into just about every room on Gay.Com and posted the URL for my blog. The next day I had over 100 visits, from all over the world! I also had my first really nasty comments. More importantly, I learned about bounce rates. For readers that have not learned about bounce rate, it gives you an idea of how long visitors stay on your pages. A high bounce rate means that they don't stay very long at all. The day I had more than 100 visits, my bounce rate jumped up around 80%.

So I abandoned the adbot strategy, and started following blogs that looked interesting to me. That generated some nice comments on some of my postings (thanks guys!). It also took me to Joe, My, God. This is a GREAT blog, and it has inspired me to do better.

So today I have been searching for tips for successful blogging. I'm going to continue with The Crotchety Old Man for a while. I like the appelation and it really feels good to vent. But based on what I've been reading, I don't think this will ever be a "successful" (translation: profitable) blog. But for now, I'm still...

The Crotchety Old Man

About Your Comments...

I don't know about other bloggers, but I'm always happy to see that someone has commented on one of my postings. It means that somebody out there is reading, and that they care enough to offer an opinion about something I've said. That's a good thing.

What I write in my blog is my opinion at that particular point in time. Contrary to what some say, I am entitled to my opinion, just as you are entitled to yours. You can disagree with me, and in many cases, probably do. That's one of the great things about living in this country.

Unfortunately, I have found it necessary to delete many of the comments I receive. To be clear, I'm not deleting them because they disagree with some of my ranting. I delete them because they come from an anonymous e-mail address that doesn't allow for replies. If you don't care to hear a response to your opinion, I'm not interested in hearing your comments about my opinion. Sue me.

Several of the nasty comments I receive focus on my spelling, grammar, and/or word choice. I am far from perfect, and appreciate having any errors called to my attention. However, to date, the errors have not been mine. One nasty commenter informed me that "counseling" should have two "l"s. Wrong. Another informed me that misperception is not a word. It is. It may not be the best word I could have used, but it is a word and it was the word I wanted. Before you jump me for something like that, doublecheck to be sure you are correct.

I welcome your comments. You are free to disagree with me as much as you like. That's what's missing from society today--the opportunity to freely discuss differences of opinion. Perhaps you will share something with me that I didn't know, or didn't understand and my opinion will change. It can happen. I will delete comments that come from anonymous addresses that don't allow for replies. I reserve the right to delete comments for other reasons as well. But I promise that I will never delete a comment just because it's one I don't agree with.

Looking forward to hearing from you...

The Crotchety Old Man