Personalized Electronic Greetings

Yesterday I wrote about holiday greeting cards. You'll see in the comments some claptrap about saving the environment and sending personalized electronic greetings. Let me address the environmental crap first.

There are plenty of opportunities to purchase cards made from recycled materials. And at the end of the season, any cards you don't want to save for sentimental reasons can be returned to one of many programs that recycle them for various purposes. Yeah, the postman drives a truck and that uses gasoline and pollutes the air. So sue me.

Nothing says "I'm a cheap and lazy bastard" louder than a personalized electronic greeting. Jesus. It's Christmas. A box of cards is $5 or less. Yeah, stamps are kinda pricey at 42 cents each. If you can afford your high speed Internet access, you can afford a few stamps.

"Personalized electronic greetings" is an oxymoron. There's nothing the least bit personal about an electronic greeting--even one containing naked pictures. Anyone that thinks otherwise has a thing or two to learn about what is and isn't personal.

There's something very precious about Christmas and other greeting cards in my possession from friends and family members that are no longer living. Maybe you have to have lost someone to appreciate the value of a greeting that is truly personal. The value isn't in the words. It comes from knowing that this card was selected, signed, and mailed by the person I knew and loved.

The cards I have from my grandmother contain one word: Grannie. There are no notes, no "I love you's" or other embellishments. Just that one word, written in her distinct hand-writing. I have an entire collection of them and I wouldn't trade them for anything--especially any personalized electronic greeting.

I have a big stack of cards from my Aunt Toodles. She frequently wrote little notes of appreciation, encouragement, and/or support, and usually included some witty or clever remark to make me laugh. I can't read them today without tears in my eyes. If my house was on fire, I would grab them first.

You can keep your personalized electronic greetings, thank you very much. I'll keep my ungreen archaic greeting cards. That's just another reason they call me...

The Crotchety Old Man