Friday, September 18, 2009

What Would Your Momma Say?

The guys sitting behind us at the Georgia/South Carolina football game weren't fans so much as critics. Two in particular seemed to think they could swap places with any of the coaches or players and do a better job. They certainly didn't hesitate to loudly offer suggestions for players, coaches, officials, and in one instance, a majorette.

About halfway through the first quarter two of them started to get a little obnoxious. We'll call them Curly and Ahole. They clearly disliked several players and best I could tell, all the coaches.

Curly started dropping F-bombs right and left in a very loud voice. Finally, I turned around and requested that he watch is language as there were children and ladies present. Curly responded that it was his expletive right to expletive say whatever the expletive he expletive felt like saying whenever the expletive he expletive pleased, or something like that. You get the idea.

My high school pal turned to Curly and told him she, too was offended. He went off on her as well. That's when I turned and said: "What would your momma say?" He yelled some more but his friends jumped in and told him to chill out.

My partner says Curly called his Momma on his cellphone. I don't know. I just know about fifteen minutes later, Curly tapped me on the shoulder. When I turned around, he hugged me and told me he was sorry. His friends said I had made a friend for life.

I thought it was a fluke until I saw Jay Leno ask Kanye West the same thing. The man with the most over-sized ego on the planet sat in stunned silence, fighting back tears. I realized that me and Jay were on to something.

The next time I'm in situations where I feel the need to comment on rude behavior, instead of worrying about getting my ass kicked I'm just going to say, "What would your Momma say?".

It works! Besides. It's what you would expect from...

The Crotchety Old Man

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