Let the Waiting Begin--The Sequel

Since early March when I received a rejection e-mail from the agent of my dreams for Glass Houses, nothing has happened. I've shared my memoir with several more friends and joined a local writer's group. Barring unforeseen delays, we'll discuss my book at the writer's group meeting this coming Saturday.

I really don't know what to expect. People who have finished the book tell me Glass Houses is very well written and that they thoroughly enjoyed the read. The positive feedback means the world to me.

Two-thirds of the people I shared the book with haven't said one way or the other. I have no idea if they hated it and quit reading, never had any intention of reading it, or are just busy and plan to read it later. Wondering drives me crazy.

It would be different if I'd given them a book somebody else wrote. I might even feel differently if my book was a work of fiction. Given that it's a memoir in which I bare my soul, the silence is deafening and a little frightening.

I asked the writer's group to give me a thumbs up or down on the entire manuscript. Is Glass Houses OK more or less the way it is? Or do I need to go back to the drawing board to start over again?

My own opinion varies with the day of the week and whoever I last talked with about the book. More and more, however, I'm standing behind the book as it's written. Yeah it needs some editing--but not a major rewrite.

My friend Adrienne Wilder just received a contract and an advance for her latest book. I'm thrilled for her. Since she's already read my book, I sent her the query and one-page synopsis I'd sent to the agent of my dreams. Her comments and suggestions helped tremendously.

Today I submitted my revised query, an improved one-page synopsis, and the complete manuscript to a small, gay publishing company. I researched my options and believe this company is a good fit for me. The fact that at least two editors review every submission makes me feel better about my prospects with them, too.

Even successful writers receive a lot of rejections before they find a publisher. Since the editors will have theoretically read the entire manuscript, a rejection from this publisher will sting a bit more than the one I received from the agent of my dreams. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

In the meantime, I'll listen to what the writer's group has to say. If they give me the thumbs up I'm expecting, we'll figure out how to go about improving the manuscript. Getting a thumbs down from them would be a surprise, and likely result in a lot of push back from...

The Crotchety Old Man

Try, Try, Again

More than a week has passed since the rejection e-mail turned up in my in-box from the agent of my dreams. Rather than the disappointment you would expect, I'm humbled. There's a lot more to this writing thing than just writing a good book.

I did not take the rejection personally. The 'no' didn't have a thing to do with Glass Houses. The simple truth: I got rejected because of my amateurish query and synopsis.

There's no point in trying to submit Glass Houses anywhere until the issues with my synopsis and query are resolved. It only took about six months to write the book--a remarkably short time. I've rushed into a thousand different things only to discover too late I was in way over my head. I'm OK with the delay. Failure is just not an option.

Take the synopsis (please!). I wrote a one-page Cliff's Notes version of the book. I didn't realize the synopsis is for the inside cover of a hardback book or the back of paperback to entice you to read more. My synopsis is so complete you don't need to read the book. Now that I know I can fix it.

Improving the query is a bigger challenge. Online resources are just too generic to be very helpful. The only way to move forward is to get individualized help from someone more knowledgeable than me.

A few friends have suggested finding a local writer's group. So I Googled "Athens Writer's Groups" to investigate my options. I e-mailed the convener of the only group I could find about my dilemma and attached Glass Houses. He replied a few days later with positive comments about his "quick glance" at the manuscript, a brief note about the group, and an invitation to attend the next meeting. I was in.

The group meets next weekend. The convener invited me to submit part of Glass Houses for discussion. I thought submitting anything without having attended a meeting or two would be rude and declined.

Yesterday I received an e-mail message with submissions for discussion from three members of the group who are ready for feedback. I've already read all three. One is the beginning of what could be a very interesting memoir, the second is several chapters from the middle of a vampire novel, and the third is part three of a fantasy novel.

I had no trouble finding something to like about all three pieces. Even coming into the middle, both novels were interesting. I was especially impressed with all the dialogue in the novels. Having written Glass Houses I had a much greater appreciation for the work involved. I look forward to sharing my opinions with the writers when we get together and hope my comments will be helpful.

It might take a few months for me to get some feedback on Glass Houses. I don't mind. In fact, a little time between the rejection e-mail and my next submission is a good thing.

I figure that first query and synopsis were forgettable. In fact, I'm counting on it. I'm trying again with a new query and synopsis. The agent of my dreams hasn't heard the last of...

The Crotchety Old Man

Rejected!

Yesterday an assistant to the literary agent of my dreams sent me a polite rejection e-mail. While a teeny little bit disappointed, I wasn't really surprised. The bigger disappointment was that the boiler-plate language was so unhelpful.

"We apologize for the long delay in our response and thank you for your patience." No problem. I know the literary agent of my dreams is busy. Besides, less than three weeks seems like a pretty quick turnaround.

"Please be assured we have carefully considered your project." Carefully my ass. If that were true, the assistant would have addressed the message to Mr. Crotchety rather than to my mother--the only Ms. Crotchety I know. Or maybe Ms. was a typo. Either way, nothing about it says careful to me.

"Unfortunately we don't feel the manuscript is right for us at this time." As I only sent the first 50 pages and am reasonably certain the assistant never even opened the attachments, it must have been something I said in the query letter. Or maybe it was something I didn't say. "Not right for us" could mean anything.

"Because we receive more than 200 submissions per week, it is necessary to be extremely selective on a very subjective basis." In other words, they can do whatever they want and it is pointless to argue with them. Gotcha.

"We wish you the best of luck. There are numerous excellent agents that might be the right fit for your manuscript. Don't give up!" Where we face-to-face I could no doubt find someplace where my manuscript would fit rather nicely...

The assistant just follows orders. Knowing a little more about exactly why he or she rejected my query would make this more of a learning experience. However, with more than 200 submissions a week I can understand why more specific feedback simply isn't possible.

Thanks to many of you, I know the manuscript is not the problem. Glass Houses is well-written with a story that keeps people reading to the very end. Is it a little long? Definitely. Could a professional editor cut out chapters and parts of chapters to improve the narrative? Absolutely.

The assistant never saw the manuscript. The problem is with the query. Until I can come up with a one-sentence hook that describes the book and makes people want to read it, the rejections will likely continue. Obviously I have some homework to do.

I said I wouldn't try another literary agent. I changed my mind last night and set about finding the first runner-up literary agent of my dreams. As you know, the first runner-up assumes the official duties in the event something happens to the literary agent of my dreams. Something happened...the bitch rejected me!

Within the next few weeks I hope to submit a completely revamped query and synopsis along with the first 50 pages to the new literary agent of my dreams. I'm allowed to change my mind. Call me fickle if you want, but most people call me...

The Crotchety Old Man

Two Down...

Now it's been two weeks since I submitted the query, one page synopsis and the first 50 pages of Glass Houses to the literary agent of my dreams. As of this moment, she still hasn't responded. I'm not surprised.

Every day without a rejection e-mail message from her (or her assistant) is good news. I know the number of days neither increases nor decreases the likelihood of rejection or acceptance. I don't care...for now I'll hold on to what I can.

If it's not a rejection message, the e-mail will contain a request for the complete manuscript. Although the likelihood of anything but a rejection with my first attempt is slim to none, I'm ready. I went through the whole manuscript one more time fixing typos, adding commas, and changing a word or two here and there.

I enjoy the read each and every time. Given the subject of the book, my enjoyment probably comes as no surprise. The pleasure comes more from the writing--the way the story is told--than from the actual story. It's definitely my best work.

If you want to read Glass Houses, don't be afraid to ask. I'm happy to share the manuscript (as a PDF). Just send a message to...

The Crotchety Old Man

One Down...

A week ago I submitted the query, a boring one-page synopsis, and the first fifty pages of Glass Houses to the literary agent of my dreams. The week has flown by. So far I haven't heard from her.

She's a busy lady. I'm sure she has an assistant--or two or three--who do nothing but screen submissions. Hopefully my query was on target enough to get the assistant to open one of the two attached files.

If they start with the synopsis, I'm doomed. It's really boring and for what it is supposed to be, not very well written. If the query gets them to open the file with the first fifty pages, my chances improve dramatically. Anyone who's read Glass Houses tells me they were hooked in the first 20 pages.

No doubt, the very second the assistant finishes reading the first fifty pages, she will forward my package to the agent of my dreams. She'll include a note about ignoring the crummy synopsis and close with a plea to expedite the request for the full manuscript because she can't wait to read the rest.

These things take time. The website specifically says to be patient and guarantees a response to every submission. For now I'm saying that's one week without a "no". I'll take it. Even if it's not what you'd expect from...

The Crotchety Old Man

Let the Waiting Begin

Today I took off work to focus on writing a one-page synopsis of Glass Houses. Man. Boiling 378 pages of narrative down to one page is no easy feat.

My first attempt ended up being six pages long. I kept cutting and condensing until I got it down to a page and a quarter. Finally I played with the margins and fonts to get it all on one page. It doesn't look squeezed...honest.

With that mean task accomplished I focused on writing the one-pager for my e-mail query to the agent of my dreams. The opening is supposed to be a one-sentence synopsis of the book. Thanks to the comments and feedback I received from many of you, I ended up saying:

Glass Houses is a humorous coming of age tale narrated by an earnest but confused child of the sixties from a large dysfunctional southern family about his struggles to find himself, come to terms with his homosexuality and reconcile his new reality with the Catholic faith of his youth

With that done and a few suggestions from helpful websites to guide me, the rest of the query came together quickly. It's honest, straight-forward and hopefully interesting enough to get her to open one of the attachments.

The first attachment is the dreadfully dull one-page synopsis. The second attachment is the first fifty pages of the book, polished to a high shine. I feel great about those pages because earlier parts of the manuscript are much more polished than later parts.

I went back to the agent's website to make sure I was following directions. I composed a message to the correct e-mail address, used the requested subject line, directed the query to the attention of the agent of my dreams as requested, pasted my query into the body and attached the files with the synopsis and first fifty pages.

I reread both the attachments to make sure there were no typos or grammatical errors. Terri looked over the query and synopsis for me--it's always good to have a second set of eyes and none better than my mentor, cheerleader and biggest fan. I went over the first fifty pages again, tinkering with a word or two now and then but mostly just making sure everything was perfect.

For some reason, I couldn't hit send. When my partner got home I was rocking on the sofa in front of my laptop with my hands clenched to my sides. He understood immediately what was going on and after confirming I was ready, clicked send.

Glass Houses now sits in the in-box of the literary agent of my dreams. The way I keep tearing up and getting emotional about it, you'd think I'd just had a baby or something.

It's more like I just found out I'm pregnant. Now the waiting begins. Few would say patience comes easy for...

The Crotchety Old Man

One Drop

I've made no progress toward finding a literary agent or publisher. It ain't for lack of trying. I've spent hours staring at the computer screen trying to come up with the requested pieces with absolutely no luck at all.

Usually this kind of frustration means I'm making something harder than it needs to be. I suspect that's true here, too. Making things harder than necessary is one of my gifts and a possible explanation for the slow learner thing.

Generally speaking, submission requirements differ depending on whether the book is fiction or nonfiction. For nonfiction, you submit a query, a book proposal with a complete table of contents (including descriptions of each chapter), a complete biographical sketch, a marketing plan and a bunch of other stuff. Arrrrrrgggghhhhh!!!

Now I'm rethinking my decision to classify the manuscript as nonfiction. Glass Houses isn't entirely true. I changed some names. I also took liberties here and there with the way things happened. If even one sentence is fiction, doesn't that mean the entire manuscript is fiction?

If it's fiction, all I need to do is submit a one-page synopsis and the first fifty pages of the manuscript. Coming up with a one-page synopsis is no easy feat, but at least it seems more doable than the stuff required for a nonfiction manuscript.

Yeah...Glass Houses is a work of fiction. Just ask Emmy, Tim, Wendy, Calvin or even Mom. I'm sure they'd agree with...

The Crotchety Old Man

Wanna Bet?

My search for an agent continues. Yesterday I told you about the query--the first step in my journey to get Glass Houses published. If the query catches the eye of the agent I'm trying to land, she'll take a look at the book proposal.

The book proposal includes a table of contents with complete descriptions for each chapter, the entire first chapter and additional sample chapters. The whole package, including the marketing plan, an interesting bio and a "dynamic" photo is not to exceed fifty pages. Pulling the package together will take longer than it took me to write the book.

I'm starting with the annotated table of contents--a Cliff's Notes version of the book. Boiling each chapter down to the essential elements has been helpful and I've barely even started. More revisions will likely come from this process before I'm done. Tasks that make the book better don't bother me--I want it to be my best work

Coming up with a solid plan for marketing and promotion is more challenging. Success will require getting off my ass and will likely involve a great deal of smiling and hand-shaking. My bowels clench at the very thought.

If my dream agent likes what she sees, she'll ask to see the manuscript. It would be a lot easier if I could just submit the manuscript now. But that's not how it works. As with many things, the process is designed to screen out all but the most determined.

Am I Determined? Yes. Determined enough? We shall see. But, if I was a betting man, I'd put my money on...

The Crotchety Old Man

Call Me Unpublished

I thought all I had to do was send Glass Houses to a couple of major publishers and wait for the bidding war to begin. The resulting six-figure advance would enable me to retire from my day job. I'd move to a beach house somewhere in South Carolina, Georgia or northern Florida to write all the time.

That's what I get for thinking. Nobody accepts unsolicited manuscripts. For "the unpublished" (said like you have a mouth full of something unpleasant), writing a great book isn't enough. With or without a proven track record, you need a solid plan to market and promote the book.

"The unpublished" are unknown entities, a writhing mass of author-wannabees all clamoring to join the chosen few. There are lots of different paths to publication. Before I'm done I may try them all. For now I've decided to try to find a literary agent.

The first step is to research literary agents to find a good match. They have niches, too. Submitting my book to an agent who specializes in Christian works of fiction, for example, would be a profound waste of time. Aside from the obvious, a memoir is considered nonfiction.

A variety of tools enabled me to produce a list of agents who like memoirs and either gay authors or subjects. Internet searches turned up additional information, including bios and statements of interest. A literary agent without a web site in 2011 seems fairly useless to me. Striking them cut my list in half. Upon closer inspection many of the rest were easily struck from the list, too. The also-rans seemed like a good enough fit in a bland, generic sort of way.

I felt a connection with two agents--both from the same agency. It's like they were speaking to me. The one I really like said she "is looking for exceptional writing [snip] that touches the heart and makes us feel something." Sounds like Glass Houses to me.

The next step is to write and submit a query to her. The query is a one-page pitch to sell the book, my writing ability and the marketability of the book. If the query fails to stand out from the hundreds she receives every week, it's over (at least with this agent). Talk about pressure. I've written a first draft and have already changed it a thousand times.

I'll keep you posted on my progress. In the meantime, you keep reading. And keep sending those comments to...

The Crotchety Old Man