Anyone Seen Marilyn Decker?

I've searched high and low for a picture of Marilyn Decker. In case you don't know, she's the witch pimping Ultra90 on various radio stations around the country. I probably would not pay any attention to her, but she has one of those Midwestern accents (think Sarah Palin) that grates on my nerves like fingernails on a chalkboard.

Unlike every male Republican's wet dream Sarah Palin, I imagine Ms. Decker to be as wide as she is tall. I strongly suspect she's blond and a chain-smoker, but that's probably because she sounds just like my ex's mother. If Ultra90 (and the other snake oil sold on the web site) worked, she'd be a real babe and as such, would have her pictures posted everywhere.

Anyone employed as an on-air personality with our local radio station has pimped Ultra90 at one time or another during the past 10 years. The fat ones are still fat. I bet if they asked, listeners would be willing to contribute to a fund to replace whatever advertising revenue these ads generate just so they wouldn't have to hear that voice again. I know I would. Just another reason they call me...

The Crotchety Old Man