Saturday, March 12, 2011

Going Crotchety on the Flower Thief

A few days ago I noticed about half a dozen pink hyacinth blooms were gone. Upon closer inspection, the stems had obviously been removed with scissors or some other sharp device. I was pissed.

This morning we found a couple of daffodil blossoms on the ground. Again, they had obviously been cut with something sharp. I was beyond pissed. Someone was apparently helping themselves to my flowers.

I mentioned the missing flowers to my partner on the off-chance that he'd maybe taken some to work. wasn't him. We both had a pretty good idea who had done the dastardly deed. We just needed proof.

Later I saw my neighbors out and asked if they had noticed anyone cutting flowers in my yard. They had not but had a pretty good idea who the flower thief probably was--the lady with the little black dog. They had the same idea as me and my partner.

She's the mom of the dyad we like to call the parents of the year. I've blogged about them before. Judging from my good neighbors, I'd say their reputation has not improved since that post.

If it was anyone else but them, all they'd need to do is ask if they could cut some flowers. From someone else I'd consider it a compliment and be happy to share. But these people piss me off.

She knows I don't like her. Up to now I haven't gone off on her. I just glare when she and her mangy little dog walk by the house--just waiting for her to walk off and leave a pile. She knows I'm watching, too.

I'm sure she is the flower thief. I can't prove it, but everyone in the neighborhood agrees it was probably her. I'm sure enough that the next time I see her, we're going to have a little one-sided discussion about it.

I haven't had a really good reason to go off on someone for a very long time. Now I'm looking forward to running into her. When I'm done she'll know that under no circumstance is it ever OK for her, her husband, her kid, her dog or anyone she might know to ever set foot in the yard of...

The Crotchety Old Man

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