Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Crotchety on Television

Despite promising never to do so again, recent events force me to blog about the world of television. I can't help myself. With politics and religion off the table and nothing new to report on Glass Houses, I simply have no choice.

Worst Cooks in America recently wrapped up season one. Because the absolute worst were the most fun to watch, the show started off strong and faded as each bad cook was eliminated. Joshy was the winner. Yeah. Joshy. Like Josh wasn't informal enough. Anyway, if Joshy ever opens a restaurant, don't go. He never kicked his habit of re-using his tasting spoon to stir the pot.

You're Cut Off wrapped up season two last night. A group of women competing to be the next "it" girl (a la Paris Hilton) learn in the first episode they have been cut off by their parents (or the boyfriend in one case). Outside of the Real Housewives franchise, you'd be hard-pressed to find a more unlikable group of over-indulged women. Two contestants didn't make it through the season--one announced she'd just find a new boyfriend and the other was too psychotic for anything but a padded cell. Watch for Marissa and her mother to get a spin-off show.

American Idol has kicked off season 97 or whatever. I've only watched bits and pieces but believe Steve Tyler and Jennifer Lopez were excellent replacements for Lala Abdul and Simon Scowl. Now Randy needs to go. Nobody believes he ever did anything anyway. From what I've seen the 24 finalists look like the most attractive and most talented cast yet.

Atlanta is the only Real Housewives show I'll let myself watch...and maybe a New Jersey now and then. Nene needs to move on. Maybe she'll win Celebrity Apprentice. Bwahahaha! Sheree needs to go, too. She's getting a little long in the tooth for what I gather is her only real talent. Kim is ready for a spin-off but will likely finish her career back in the line up at the Cheetah Club, the Atlanta strip club where she got her start.

The new Dancing with the Stars cast will include Wendy Williams, Kirstie Alley, Ralph Macchio, Sugar Ray Leonard and a bunch of others I really don't know. For me, I'm in until Wendy goes home. I'm pretty sure she'll outlast Kirstie.

Stick a fork in Two and a Half Men--I'm calling it done. We love Charlie Harper because he's just so adorable. The Charlie Sheen we've seen on television lately isn't very likable at all. Turns out he was acting a lot more than anyone thought.

Tabitha's Salon Makeover is always good. She finds salons in all different flavors filled with the flakiest hairdressers on the planet. No matter how dysfunctional, Tabitha cuts to the root of the problem and turns things around. If she was born in the U.S. I'd want her to run for president.

I'm watching Top Chef All Stars, too. The Top Chef franchise is the best of all the cooking shows if you ask me. Up until the last episode or two the returning cast members have all been very collegial and cooperative. I expect the drama to intensify as we wind down to finding a winner (who will surely be Richard Blais).

Yeah I know--it's all crap. Back when we only had four channels, television was better. If not, you turned it off. It may not be good, but now there's always something good enough for...

The Crotchety Old Man

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