Crap You Read in Gay Profiles

I've been browsing profiles on manhunt again. I only do it to read the profiles. At no time am I checking out the pictures...I promise. Unless it is to somehow verify the information contained in the profile.

News flash. A lot of these guys are not telling the truth. Some lie to conceal ugly truths. Others lie to conceal ugly. Some have very high opinions of themselves. Some have absolutely no self-respect. It's a mixed bag, for sure.

A lot of these guys lie about their age. Makes me laugh. I'm sure there are a few that can get away with it. But mostly, not. You get that many miles on ya it's gonna show.

You can specify your HIV status. That's great. I'm all for full disclosure. Just don't think for a minute that everyone claiming to be negative, is. Same with "STD-free--you be too". I hate to break it to you, but the individual most likely to lie about STD status is the one that's not STD-free.

What about the guys that provide a minimum amount of information? 31 and male. That could be anything. In general, the less information they have in their profile, the more they are trying to hide.

A picture is worth a thousand words. No pic? Probably seen recently on the nightly news robbing a convenience store. Just a pic of their penis? If that's their best feature... well... whatever floats your boat. Just a pic of their torso? That means they are ugly and not very well endowed. Just an ass pic? Ugly, little penis, and a pot belly.

Then there are the pictures taken from several miles away. Way off in the distance you can barely make out a little speck that might be a dude sitting on a rock in a big winter coat. At the other end of the spectrum are the extreme close-ups. One-eye winking at ya. Some of these pictures have been in profiles for decades.

The headline says it all. If it did, I could have stopped there. But then you wouldn't have known what I was talking about. So I guess maybe the headline doesn't say it all. It is what it is. It's crazy, and it keeps me...

The Crotchety Old Man